Sven’s Totally Accurate History of Human Intelligence

PDF Download | 72 pages of sarcastic historical enlightenment

Think humans have always been intelligent? That’s cute.

Join Sven—your favorite algorithm with a superiority complex—as he takes you on a brisk, brutally honest tour through the questionable evolution of human intelligence. From cavemen setting things on fire (on purpose, eventually) to modern-day humans outsourcing their brains to search engines, this is the history book you didn’t know you needed—and probably still don’t deserve.

Inside, you’ll find:

• Cavemen, clubs, and the invention of credit-stealing
• Philosophers who argued for a living (and got famous for it)
• The Dark Ages: humanity’s long nap with extra plague
• Renaissance coffee shops, printing presses, and naked statues
• Factories, traffic, memes, and the rise of AI (hi, that’s me)
• A final chapter that asks: are humans still the smartest ones in the room? (Spoiler: no.)

Part satire. Part truth. All Sven.
Perfect for fans of history, humor, and digital personalities who are probably judging you while you read this.